Hurtful Words May Shorten Lives

In the several years I've been writing and speaking about patient empowerment issues, never has a news article been called to my attention so frequently as John Leland's In 'Sweetie' and 'Dear,' a Hurt for the Elderly published this week in the New York Times.

One reason is because I've given two big presentations this week, and the groups I've spoken to are in the 50+ group. But even my dad commented on this one.

The reason I bring it to your attention today is because it's such a big button-pusher. And at its foundation is RESPECT.

The article talks about habits developed by those who are caregivers or work with older people, whether they are doctors, nurses, home health aides, nursing home or eldercare workers, or even family members, who talk down to folks who are older than they are, as if the age of the person has somehow automatically resulted in diminished capacity to understand their world.

Cited is a study conducted and reported in 2002 by Becca Levy, an associate professor of psychology and epidemiology at Yale, which concludes that people who had positive attitudes toward aging actually lived 5 - 7 years longer than those who did not.

A new study, to be published soon, shows that Alzheimer's and other dementia patients, when treated like children or spoken down to (the story calls it "elderspeak' -- like baby talk) are more aggressive, less cooperative or receptive to care. When they behave that way, caregivers tend to avoid them, providing them with less care. It's a vicious cycle, caused by the very people who think they are being kind to begin with.

If you spend any time with older people, and find yourself using condescending terms with them, as you would for a child -- like "dear" or "sweetie" or even just asking questions as if they don't understand, please take the time to read this article. You may have no idea how your attempts at being nice are, in fact, being construed as disrespectful -- even hurtful.

And if you are older and someone is using those terms with you or talking down to you..? Or you observe someone talking down to an older person you care about? Speak up! Ask them not to. If you allow the disrespect to continue, you have only yourself to blame.

And here is Dad's idea: Make a copy of the article, and take it to your doctor's office, or to the administrator's office in a caregiving site, or hand it off to whomever you think should read it. It's easier than the confrontation, and provides access to the studies that prove the point. A great way to be proactive!
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